My wife informed me last night that she cheated.

[loweinsd51]

As a LBH who has recently started piecing with my FWW, I wanted to give you my perspective.

the LBH needs to have a "point of reference" in the R and tell his WAW that he has apologized for his wrong doing and that he's sorry for the pain she's had as a result of his actions...but from THIS POINT ON....he will not repeat his apology and he will not continue to rehash what has happened in the past. The past is just that....past. Nothing can change it and to live in this tortured state will only bring more pain for the future. Then he can ask his WAW if she is willing for them to start at THIS POINT ON in moving forward together.

As usual Sandi is spot on in fact you will find that Sandi is always spot on. She was a WAW so take what she says as gospel. Anyway, My W and I have agreed to leave the past where it should be left...in the past.

The thing that turned it around for me at least was when I decided to GAL and start being a man. But I did it for ME...and my FWW happened to notice and I could tell that she was starting to become attracted to me again. When OM finally showed his true colors I was there to offer compassion and a shoulder to cry on. Things progressed from there and now we are piecing. But the key was when she agreed to NC with OM...you absolutely cannot R when the OM is in the picture. I know it's hard as hell, trust me I was there only a few months ago.

I know this because my FWW has told me and hinted a few times about the changes I made and I tell her I changed for me. Pick up No More Mr. Nice Guy and Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S.. Both of these tomes will show you how to become a man that any woman can respect. One thing that Sandi drilled into my head is your W or any woman MUST respect you first before they can love you period. Art of Manliness is a great website that I recently discovered and is packed with some real gems.

I also went on AD's namely Welbutrin...I highly recommend it as one of the side effects is an increase in libido. My W takes it to and trust me it does increase libido.

Also read "What Women Find Attractive" in the Newcomers forum...that REALLY turned things around for me and I read the first post from Coach daily...know it, learn it, live it.