Hi again Punkin..... For a very long time living without H was much calmer and more peaceful than having him present. However, in the past three months, to be honest aside from the anguish I felt over the ow dinner episode everything else between us has been pretty good and there has been no conflict or tension or walking on egg shells as in the past. It is for this reason that I see H is in multiple stages; not just replay. We have both acknowledged that we have been enjoying our interactions with each other...friendly, sometimes humorous, caring and sometimes sensitive but always respectful.
The other night he said that I should relax and focus on building our friendship, not on what I saw was an issue. At the time, I felt he was just trying to take the pressure off himself in saying that. However, if I think about it more carefully I know he has used that phrase of relax with me on many occasions of late.
Tonight H was home again cos he was on skype but neither of us made contact. He is working all weekend and he has made arrangements to take D out Mon as she is on holidays.
A friend rang tonight who has been away for weeks and asked how our financial settlement/divorce was going. She was surprised when I said nothing had happened. I told her it was H's responsibility to take action and I wasn't going to take this responsibility away from him. Friend commented that H doesn't want to take this final step. It was an interesting comment because all the way through H has been the one to accuse me of stalling. My reduced interaction with him may prompt his action. I'm ready!
I think it may be an interesting time ahead.
Ooh and btw, I had a yummy, rich chocolate gelati...worth all those calories!!
