I have read the N.U.T.s book and that is great information, but it is finding that thought process.
Anyway, I think that spending time together would be helpful to the situation. I am telling her that I want to spend time with her. Something I was having trouble telling her before. My DB coach tells me that that is what I should be doing for my 180. What I want to know is the best way to phrase the question? And how do I handle the possible negative response from her, without retreating, and saying ok that is fine maybe another night. I don't want the spineless retreat, but I want to be both positive and ready. (I know I should be thinking positively that she will want to, but I want to be ready for either situation.)
Don't waste your time asking or talking about it. Do it. Actions are louder.
Make a plan, arrange it. Whatever it may be - movies, theater, concert.
Get the tickets, make a reservation, etc.
Then present your plan to her. "W, I decided we could go _____ and do______. I made arrangements and I would like you to join me."
What's the worst thing that can happen? She will decline.
You say, "I am sorry you cannot make it. Maybe next time."
And then you GO and DO whatever you had arranged alone or ask a friend to join you.
