You can't do anything about it. Your W has chosen you as being the choice of her pain. That stuff about her saying that you are a reminder of the bad times in her life are total BS. Did you ever tell her that you were also the reminder of the best times in her life as well?
Best and ballsiest thing to do is tell her. "Sorry that you see me as a constant reminder of all the pain in your life. I love you enough that I don't want to see you in pain, so I release you from our marriage to do what you think makes you happy." Then start packing her stuff.
That will turn her around because she can no longer blame you. Personal responsibility is what it comes down to.
I'm not ready for that. I want to fix this and restore our relationship. I don't care what the problems are or who started it all. I don't want retribution. I don't want vengeance. I don't want to even the score. I just want my marriage back.
