I know what you guys are saying. I know that he was making about 3 times what I was. I can't imagine what our lives would have been without 1) my getting a better paying job and 2) without child support. Of course some of his choices really hurt us financially. I am rebuilding though and am teaching my kids as we go about choices and needs and wants.
My ex quit his part time job so that he could pay me less and now he is back to working a second job. I don't ask him about any of it. I just really would love for him to focus more on the kids when he does have them. That is my boundary...I don't cross. His relationship with the kids is just that, his.
His choices hurt a lot of people. I believe the kids are doing pretty well. We talk about issues that come up. I do encourage them to tell their dad about things that are going on and that does seem to be working. I can have a conversation with him without getting upset though it makes me wonder why he still lies to me. No need to, really.
When I see people that just seemed to get raked over the coals it does bother me. I know that I only get to see one side of the story but I don't understand how the courts can make things so lopsided especially when there are no kis or just one.
Somehow though I think everyone here can get through this stuff.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Jeff, I agree with you on most of what you said but every situation is different and like Kat said it's disgusting the courts won't take anything into consideration other factors than the difference between two people's salaries. If you know my situation you know my wife filed after getting unemployed from a well paying job, she stayed at home for a year, then after leaving found a front desk job at a small company. Then immediately took me to court for temporary support which includes $X for child support plus $X*2 for spousal support- all calculated based on the (sudden) income differential. I'm not bitter anymore because it is what it is- in fact, I can almost even joke about it once in a while.
Kat, what'd you do with the rest of the helium? Did you inhale some and call your XH?
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Oh, there's no question that every case is different. and there are always going to be a number of people that play the system, versus what I expect is the majority that just want fair. There's never going to be a good way of dealing with it, fortunately I think that time is usually the great equalizer, and healer.
Actually ex was here to see the balloons and sing HB. S15 inhaled from the balloons so he could talk funny. He found the tank too after I thought I had hidden it well! Lol. He is a great kid but his adventuresome spirit sometimes comes and he finds mischief.
So glad it is the weekend.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
"We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in then name of the Lollipop Guiiiiiiiiiiiiild.... ... we wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land!"
"We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in then name of the Lollipop Guiiiiiiiiiiiiild.... ... we wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land!"
Hey No Code, welcome to the I've Got Absolutely Nothing Else To Do This Afternoon Club, it's kind of like the Breakfast Club but with a much smaller production budget. I'm the self-appointed President but there are lots of other great positions available if you're interested. Hey, I'll appoint you as our official You Tube Media Scout, sound good? I'd like to stay and delve further into club business but I've got a lot to do this afternoon doing absolutely nothing. So, keep up the good work, my fellow club member, and remember our club motto: Nap! Btw Kat, here's a little something I found before appointing No Code to his position (don't want to step on your toes NC!). It's from me to you. I posted it on my thread but it probably got buried in the asparagus fiasco and you missed it.
Oh how funny! I am up for the ice cream as long as we don't have to wear the fun hats, ok?? Yes I certainly got lost in the asparagus talk. Does that mean that I don't get ice cream now?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Oh how funny! I am up for the ice cream as long as we don't have to wear the fun hats, ok?? Yes I certainly got lost in the asparagus talk. Does that mean that I don't get ice cream now?
kat
Hey, do you think they might have Asparagus flavour?
