Best suited here now

[sandi2]

Opps.....I was editing when you sent your reply. I thought I might say that a bit differently.

[TimeHeals]

I thought I might say that a bit differently

Your Kung Fu is strong

[FaithnAK]

If she says, "I was worried sick that something had happened to you and you don't even have the manners to return my call." You say, "You were worried?" She says, "Of course, I still care what happens to you!" (She's just open a trap door for herself... ;))

Ok, not expecting this. lol

BUT, if this was to happen...curiousity makes me ask, What would I do then? Why do you feel that would be a trap door for her?

It's dark in my Forest.

[TimeHeals]

Why do you feel that would be a trap door for her?

she says, "I was worried sick that something had happened to you and you don't even have the manners to return my call."

Choices:

You say, "You were worried?".

or

You apologize for not being at her beck and call even though she left you, etc?

or

You say nothing. Frozen deer in headlights.

or

You say something to defend yourself.

---

Think about it.

The first is strong Kung Fu. Your advesary is attacking, do you scrunch up in a ball or use their momentum against them?

Not that you are fighting or anything

Gives her a chance to open up to you in the first case. In the second case, you shut her down and take responsibility for her feelings with an apology that doesn't really make any sense, and it's hard to respect too.

[FaithnAK]

So my next answer..."You still care?" and if she says "Yes". Then I would say "Then leave your OM, and come home, otherwise this conversation is over"

???

[TimeHeals]

So my next answer..."You still care?" and if she says "Yes". Then I would say "Then leave your OM, and come home, otherwise this conversation is over"

I would defer to Sandy because her Kung Fu is strong lately, but... if it were me and that sequence happened:

You still care?" and if she says "Yes".

Me: Have your told your boyfriend about this?

Her: "He knows that I care for you"

Me: Poor fella.

[FaithnAK]

So my next answer..."You still care?" and if she says "Yes". Then I would say "Then leave your OM, and come home, otherwise this conversation is over"

I would defer to Sandy because her Kung Fu is strong lately, but... if it were me and that sequence happened:

You still care?" and if she says "Yes".

Me: Have your told your boyfriend about this?

Her: "He knows that I care for you"

Me: Poor fella.

Cary Grant. Got it.

[FaithnAK]

This might be sheer coincidence. However, after your drive by comments I'm kinda thinking too.

Left work same time W does. I always check rear view mirror when this happens just in case I see her. Ok, I admit it. I made like 4 lights in a row at yellow and traffic is smooth. All of a sudden my W is 4 cars behind me. Like she's heading to our house. I'm a speeder, always have been, so I notice she's weaving in an out of traffic til she's behind me, so I take second exit and she drives on...no biggie.

I figured since she was on this side of town, she could come get her Snow tires...so I called. No answer. Didn't leave message and basically said F it.

Then I just thought, hmmm wonder if she's going the back way...so I head towards my house and go past to the other intersection and there she was at a 4 way stop, just me and her. She actually waves at me, but I couldn't wave back, I'm incredibly suspicious at this point and turn around to make sure she wasn't at house. She wasn't.

Coincidence or is this what you all call a drive by? Is this the hang on it gets better? She doesn't have a friend in this area, but could she be living around here?

I don't know. I'm not freaked out but it's interesting enough to post IMO.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

So my next answer..."You still care?" and if she says "Yes". Then I would say "Then leave your OM, and come home, otherwise this conversation is over"

I would defer to Sandy because her Kung Fu is strong lately, but... if it were me and that sequence happened:

You still care?" and if she says "Yes".

Me: Have your told your boyfriend about this?

Her: "He knows that I care for you"

Me: Poor fella.

Hot DAMN, that's good.


Does anyone give out "4 Sunglasses" awards??


Puppy

[FaithnAK]

I figured since she was on this side of town, she could come get her Snow tires...so I called. No answer. Didn't leave message and basically said F it.

4 hours after I made this call, she texted me "Any particular reason u called earlier?"

This irritated me and I feel like I'm stuck in this game I do not want to play.

Some friends asked me last night why I called her.

I didn't do it to hear her voice, I didn't do it because I miss her, I did it because the thought popped in my head that she's going to want the snow tires and since she is right behind me why not stop by and get em so I don't have to deal with this later. My thinking also led me to believe that this "Might" be the reason she wants to see the dogs. It's mind reading but I feel like I'm playing a game of Chess 10 moves forward.

I'm scared. I'm not scared that I'm losing her, because I believe that has already taken place. Right now, I'm scared because I don't want to be the person I have to be with her now. I don't want to be thinking 10 moves forward and how I'm going to react.

I conquered one fear this morning. I sent her the email of what my Attorney advised. I worded it the way my DB Coach and several of you advised. Other than the factual part of the email, which was just repeated information with no threatening, guilt trip, or R material, here is the part that frightened me

"I’ve decided that it is in my best interests to have a fair and agreeable plan put in place before we proceed through this Dissolution. Would you like me to set up an appointment with ___ or would you like us to find a different one?"

I didn't use OUR interests, because it really isn't about her and I anymore. Hopefully, she will have a clue that it benefits her though as well.