I posted this in gucci's set them free page and decided I would start my own thread.
I really was a jerk for the majority of our marriage. When she dropped the bomb it was a sledge hammer between the eyes and woke me up to the fact I was a jerk. I started working on myself and really started learning how to Love her and myself.
During this time she was and is going at one night a week and not coming home till 2:30 to 3pm. She started a new job in June and is working 3 nights to 4 nights per week. She would also go out 1 night and was starting to stay out later and later. 4 4:30, 4:45. The last time she did I had someone check up on her. She came home at 4am and lied to me about where she was. I didn't get mad and let her know that I new that didn't happen. She wasn't with anyone else. She just wants to do what she wants to do.
She told me how she felt I told her how I felt and she said "don't you think that this is the only way I can make you feel the way I felt all those years and get away from this.
She stated that she was afraid to tell me the truth. I told her I couldn't just be a babysitter anymore. She stated she didn't care and said she was done last year. She expects me to separate and divorce her. I finally had to admit to myself I needed to give her what she wants and I'm moving out in two weeks.
Yesterday she asked me if I was going to get her a newer car than she had and I told her no. Later in the day she handed me insurance cards we just switched to her insurance 6 weeks ago. I told her I didn't need them. She looked at me and said " so your not staying on my insurance."
I hurt her over the years. I've apologized and made amends. She is very hurt. I can no longer stay and be the baby sitter. I plan on moving out and separating. I don't want a divorce.
I would appreciate any advice. My thoughts are to give her what she wants. Separation and divorce even though thats not what I want. I'm already leaving. Is it dumb to set a goal of going out on a date.
JTJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
I wouldn't leave your home; if she's unhappy, have her leave.
I agree don't leave your house, ask me how I know
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
My thoughts are to give her what she wants. Separation and divorce even though thats not what I want. I'm already leaving. Is it dumb to set a goal of going out on a date.
Funny thing happens when you give them what they want. First they are relieved YOU FINALLY "GET IT" and two, they aren't any more happier. Be the better option.
I saw changes in my Ws attitude once I started to date OW.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Come on. How did you find this place?? It's so easy. Make sure you're ready though. Don't play around with other people's hearts.
Start by meeting new women, talk, laugh, get your confidence back.
Introducing OW into the picture my not be for everyone. I'm just saying it worked for me.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 09/27/1006:58 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
