New Thread - Same Sitch

[steady]

I usually see two schools of thought here. One is the be patient and wait approach. The other is the set boundaries approach.

The hard part is the juggling act between them.

It's my age old question - when do you make things happen and when do you let things happen. The first part is related to the boundaries, the second part is related to the patience. (that just came to me when I typed it)

It's kind of like the statement - I will be here to work on our marriage and do what I need to do to improve it, BUT, I need to see some forward motion. It seems we may be on different pages about our expectations of where and how fast this is moving. I'd like to talk about it so those goals and expectations are clear for both of us.

I'm not sure how that would go over. I know in my sitch, my W had quit long before I actually realized it - although my gut was telling me she was just blowing smoke on our 'work on the marriage 'phase'' - I did the work, she did nothing. I will give her I think she tried to try. But she never jumped in and actually try. She was stuck in whether to even try or not. That's one level removed from actually trying.

I guess the answer depends where in the sitch you are and where your H and you are in relation to it.

Can you approach him and talk about it or do you think it would set him off?

Would you even want to?