I said no, that's not a good idea. She shouldn't be sleeping here unless she makes the decision this is where she wants to be.
Oh my. You are still asking her to lead? Where is she leading you? You are still letting her know that what happens is up to her over and over and over. She knows that.
You should have stopped with this, IMO: "I said no, that's not a good idea"
I can't say anything right even with the correct intentions
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Read and memorize SBH's reply. Repeat it over and over. Develope your mind set to be firm.
If she comes from behind and hugs you, your response is to pull away and say, "You have asked for space and I am respecting your boundary. I too need space and expect you to respect mine." Yes she will be mad, hurt, sad.. And you know why? Not because she LOVES YOU SO MUCH, but because she didn't get her way! She’s spoiled! Don't you see that?
The fact that you even allowed her to sit and have dinner with you is crazy!!! Your response should have been, "The best thing the both of us can do right now is allow this separation to move forward. It's far too damaging for both us and our s4 to continue as we are now and as we have been in the past. That relationship is done, over, finished. Our future relationship will be different."
And DO NOT SAY ANY MORE!!! She WILL ask "different how?", to which your response will be, "Just different". DO NOT SAVE HER OR MAKE HER FEEL SAFE! “Just different” has many meanings and it will be up to her (and you) to decide as time goes by…
If she says ILY, your response, “Please do not say that. As I we discussed just yesterday (or the day before) what we have is not love and its best that we don’t confuse what we currently have as “love”.
I said no, that's not a good idea. She shouldn't be sleeping here unless she makes the decision this is where she wants to be.
Oh my. You are still asking her to lead? Where is she leading you? You are still letting her know that what happens is up to her over and over and over. She knows that.
You should have stopped with this, IMO: "I said no, that's not a good idea"
I can't say anything right even with the correct intentions
And why are you helping with her taxes? If you're not together then you can't help.
Don't you see that it was another missed opportunity to have her miss you?
Wife: "Will you help me with my taxes?" You: "I'm sorry but I can't"
She DOES need you... But you're not giving her the opportunity to realize that...
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Johns wife would be so easy to DB if he would just give her the space instead of rescuing. His wife wants to be led. She's constantly seeking attention. Piece of cake.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I can't say anything right even with the correct intentions
First of all, check that attitude at the door. Turn that frown upside down. Seriously. You can and will get through this if you choose to.
We want to see you come through this on top so badly. Show us that you can. Go on, do it!
As for the L, if the first one is one of those "let's get it over and done with"-types, you are right to go elsewhere. You need to protect yourself. There is no telling what your W is capable of. She is extremely flighty and doesn't sound stable. Get a L. It is of utmost importance. Doooo it!
Originally Posted By: pookie69
Do you realize that there is a "Not sure where to srart or end, WAW #1"?
