You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[Drew]

Drew, if she reschedules the meeting I'll go. If she doesn't, I'll request transcripts of the meeting from the school.

Why is it up to her?

[ClingingToHope]

Nothing is getting decided in this IEP meeting. It's just to go over what the procedures are this year when D8 has a meltdown or feels overwhelmed.

I've met the teacher and principal and I'll just ask for the report from the meeting. I'm doing a separate parent-teacher conference in two weeks and will go over it with the teacher at that time.

NCD, D8 is doing very well with her ADHD issues. She's not on the medicine anymore. Now it's just a matter of getting a good homework routine worked out. Funny, STBXW emailed me Tuesday telling me how much homework D8 had Wednesday and I needed to make sure it was done.

It was all of two pages and reading a book for twenty minutes. She'd already finished it by the time I got home and D11 had finished hers as well.

[ClingingToHope]

My subconscious has been pretty good through this whole thing. I've only had a few dreams about STBXW. I had one last night though. I don't remember much, but at the end we were sitting in the backseat of a car traveling somewhere and we were holding hands.

I woke up feeling really, really good. I miss holding hands.

Strange.

[ImprovedRomeo]

CTH, where are you guys in the D process? Sorry if this was covered recently? I ask because I see you detach well for a while but then you start to reminisce about STBXW and then get angry- which is all very normal and understandable btw but I get the feeling you need some event to happen to bring you some closure and catapult you out of this. I'm not all that different myself but I choose to focus on myself now and dread the D day from the financial pov. Once I'm over that hump I'll be alright.

You know sometimes I wonder what we'll all talk or think about when this is all over. So much of our time and life is consumed by this mess I'd probably miss not having something to worry about lol

Great you're focusing on the kids and yourself...that's all that matters from now on.

[awest1217]

Not doing homework is part of an ADHD issue. Having fits is not an ADHD problem that is a defiant problem. ADHD has to do with focus and not getting work done because of low focus or because of an inability to organize the information to get a project or even homework done.

I go to many IEP meetings and I know they are to review what is currently happening. As a parent of a special ed student, you should go and explain the issue about the not doing homework so something can possibly be incorporated into the IEP so make sure future teachers do the same thing.

Example: The teacher may put in the IEP that D8 will have an agenda that will be filled in by D8 then signed by the teacher and brought home as communication of homework to be done.

Then next year when D8 has a new teacher, the teacher reads D8's IEP and says, "oh that is the procedure for homework with this child" and will continue it to make sure every year D8 has the same procedure and all teachers so the same thing with her, which will teach her to always write down her homework in an organized way so later when she is unfocused the agenda is there to remind her.

Being on the teacher side, I know how important having a good IEP written is and also know how important it is that all issues are addressed in those meetings because then the best strategies are put into place for the student so he/she can succeed.

[soleil]

CTH, it could take an event to get you to detach completely or maybe it's just the old cliche -- "time." I know that's lame but it's probably true.

You know sometimes I wonder what we'll all talk or think about when this is all over. So much of our time and life is consumed by this mess I'd probably miss not having something to worry about lol

Haha. You are definitely right about that.

[Drew]

CTH, you're not going to be able to avoid STBXW forever.

[antlers]

If he's lucky he can! If he doesn't want to see her, there's no need for him too! He can get all of the stuff done that's in front of him, without him having to see her.

[smith18]

Ten Common Mistakes Parents Make During the IEP Meeting

[Drew]

Antlers,

Then I would respectfully submit that you should change your signature to "if you meet the devil, avoid him ...."

Effective co-parenting cannot be done without some face to face interaction, particularly when it comes to parent/teacher conferences.