I'm not going to comment on the emotional side of things as you are well covered in that area.
I thought the first attny you saw was one of the "power players" from the country club?
I think you are being VERY foolish from a legal standpoint. Did your W just start school this semester? If so, she started while the two of you were legal married and used joint funds to pay and BAM!... precedent set.
If your state is one where a physical separation (living in two houses) is not recognized as a LEGAL separation then all debt she is creating (CC) is also yours. So you very well know be required to continue payment of her tuition AND her debt.
If your dad has so much money tell him to write you a heft retainer check and get this agreement DONE. The longer you wait (you have waited too long) the more opportunity your W has to set precedent of what she will need to rebuild on her own.
