I understand how you feel and I definitely understand how your H must have felt to read those message BUT again, he did not read detailed messages about you screwing some other guy like many of us on this board have endured.
Either he was a time-bomb waiting to explode from past issues or he has been planning this for awhile and saw his opportunity. I'm just saying from my years of experience dealing with these type of stories. It is a rare occurence for a spouse to just walk without having another gameplan lined up.
What aren't you telling us? What caused you to need your escape? What issues have you BOTH been dealing with??
Help me understand... Regardless you need to calm down and STOP the BEGGING and PLEADING. It is very WEAK. No one is attracted to this behavior especially someone that has the WAS mentality. Stop the contact. You have apologized and are open to talking when he is ready. In the meantime, stop beating yourself up. Go dark and keep doing things for YOU. Show him that you will survive with or w/o him.
Do you guys fight a lot? Do you nag or have anger issues?
Big pieces of this puzzle are missing. Once again. I get the anger, hurt, betrayal thing that he is feeling. I felt that way as well but I loved my spouse and would have done anything to fight for us. Some people aren't fighters. They are runners. The old "fight or flight" instincts fromt he animal kingdom. If he is a runner then he would have displayed these traits before.
