Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[Sad_but_happy]

Holy back and forth Batman!!! Just got caught up on this entire post... WOW!!!

John, this is my first post ever so I'm a virgin here and I'm sure the vets may correct me... That said I have read all the books suggested on this site and have learned a ton! It seems YOU CAN NOT GET AWAY FROM HER!

I have to ask one simple question... WHY? What is she doing for you? I have you pegged as a man with VERY LOW self esteem. This is something you must work on.

Remember, a lack in response to her actions (silence) is ACCEPTENCE of them!! She gets EVERYTHING she wants with VERY LITTLE effort!!! You cave at every instance…

I'm turning off my phone.... And then it's back on!
I'm staying out so I don't see her.... And then you see her!
I'm not going to talk R.... And you talk R!
I'm going to go dark.... But let’s sit down and have dinner?

A few observations...

If she comes from behind and hugs you, your response is to pull away and say, "You have asked for space and I am respecting your boundary. I too need space and expect you to respect mine." Yes she will be mad, hurt, sad.. And you know why? Not because she LOVES YOU SO MUCH, but because she didn't get her way! She’s spoiled! Don't you see that?

The fact that you even allowed her to sit and have dinner with you is crazy!!! Your response should have been, "The best thing the both of us can do right now is allow this separation to move forward. It's far too damaging for both us and our s4 to continue as we are now and as we have been in the past. That relationship is done, over, finished. Our future relationship will be different."

And DO NOT SAY ANY MORE!!! She WILL ask "different how?", to which your response will be, "Just different". DO NOT SAVE HER OR MAKE HER FEEL SAFE! “Just different” has many meanings and it will be up to her (and you) to decide as time goes by…

If she says ILY, your response, “Please do not say that. As I we discussed just yesterday (or the day before) what we have is not love and its best that we don’t confuse what we currently have as “love”.

I know this is the most difficult thing ever and I don’t make light of it. But until you implement the correct strategies you will NEVER be happy!

Good Luck John.