Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Just kidding - spoke to soon! So H texts me last night, "so, you never told me how your dinner and wine went with your neighbors. How was it?" Sounds nice enough. I figure it's either 1)A sincere request meaning he's over his down time & wants to start communication with me again (plausible, knowing his ever changing ups and downs) or 2)Another sarcastic remark said in order to start a fight with me. Unfortunately, it was the second. Trying to be cautious, I just say that it was good, but do not ellaborate on it. Then whoa, it sets off a whole string of attacks!!! These are just so ridiculous, that I have to rewrite them for you. He sends 3 right in a row (my notes are in paranthesis):

H - "Oh good. I just wanted to make sure it was worth pissing me off. Glad you made the best of it. On that note, it turns out that we are legally separated by living apart. Its called defacto separation.(which I don't think it technically true when I had talked to my lawyer original. We are separated in some legal ways & have some protections - ie. new debt acquired is separate etc, but we are not legally separated.)

H - To top it off you couldn't even say sorry. (uhh, I'm supposed to apologize for what??? For making plans and not breaking them to hang out with you???) All you could do was blame me and say that its my fault b/c you never know when I want to hang out. Well, I never know when I'm going to be able to squeeze a few hours.

H - I'm so F*-ing angry w/ you. I was waiting down the street, trying not to piss my pants until you left. (when I went to pick up S, S was still sleeping, so I was there for about 45 mins until S woke up. So I guess H was in the area too, waiting for me to leave)

I start to think of a response (how do you respond to this is beyond me, especially when someone is so irrational and mental as H right now!), and then H calls to make sure I got his text messages. I said yes and that I am responding now, so he says ok and hangs up. This was the response I finally came up with (validate his feelings, using I statements with my feelings, but not giving in to his ridiculous thinking).

Me - I understand how upset you are. I never meant to piss u off. I was just upset too b/c I felt like u were mad at me for making plans. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way (or maybe he did), but that's how I felt and what I reacted to. I know u just wanted to spend time together & I love our time together too. If you're available tomorrow, let's talk at lunch. Right now, I need to go to sleep b/c S gave me his bug & i'm super sick!

H - Feel better. I'll pass.

Phew! I didn't really want to deal with him for lunch either, but I was attempting not to completely blow him off if he wanted to have a valid discussion.

So yes, it's annoying and frustrating, but I think I'm becoming a little numb to it all b/c I don't even feel anything right now. I think I'm just mostly annoyed that we are even still discussing something so stupid. Who cares?! I had dinner at my neighbors! I still wouldn't change my decision to do so. If he wants my life to revolve around him then he needs to make the M commitment to do so. Otherwise, my life is my life! I would like this drama to end tho, so I hope he gets over this soon!