A man in full

[Truegritter]

Time

I have tried to say this to you in the most tactful way I could the last time you posted on my thread.

You see, I don't get this.

I agree you don't.

And probably won't based on what I know and have read about your own choices. That's ok they are yours to make.

So

Do think posting to me will somehow validate your own choices and beliefs?

My own perpective and those of most of the people who post on these boards are not yours clearly...

So why post here? And why post on my thread?

Has something I said offended you so much that you feel you need to come to my thread and continue to post to me things you know I do not agree?

To help me? I know you don't agree with me and I don't post to you. What is the point?

I try to help people here based on my experience. And what is that?

You can read on ALL my threads which are still here. And have not been deleted by me (and again where are yours?)

All my mistakes, all my heart is out here on these pages.

I post here for support and guidance.

AND to pay back what was given me. Things I truly believe.

So if you want to hear yourself talk I will say plainly

...please do it on your own thread.

[fisherman]

Let me clarify something, when your own family calls and don't hear from you for a couple of days, do they start in with the "We were worried.,.." stuff?

I ask because I'd have to be AWOL for a couple of weeks unexpectedly before I heard something like that from my own mother who I talk to several times a week.

Apples and oranges.

Different people, different family members and different situations.

Time, perhaps you have done the right thing for you. It's doesn't mean it will be the right thing for others. Who are any of us to say?

There seems to be a strong need for you to be "right." It's plain to see that your opinion, while respected, is not wanted here. Why keep pushing?

How come you are having trouble letting go and moving on?

[Truegritter]

Thanks for sharing your inspiring thoughts. They have helped me many times.

And me from your posts.

It has been a long road from whence we came eh SA?

Thank you for your support and wisdom.

[cat04]

I just texted her I was fine sorry to worry her.

You see, I don't get this. You're sorry to worry her? She left, right? She wasn't too worried when she left, and when you don't hear from her for weeks, is she sorry to worry you?

I don't get why you would say that. It's not your job to rescue her from her feelings. If she can't get ahold of you because you are living your life without her because she left you, then what is there to be sorry about?

Time,

It is apparant that you do not "get" Grit or some of the others that post on this board.

Grit, was being Grit. True to himself. At the end of the day, regardless of what his W has or has not done, this is who HE wants to be.

Someone who takes other people's feelings into consideration.

Someone who does his best to let go of grudges.

Someone who wants that door to be open for his W should she choose to knock.

I am not so sure why you don't see that. Or how you could possibly think that being an asshat to her would be better for Grit.

That being said, maybe it is time for you to let this go.

Hey Grit!

Oh and you too Trapt (if you are around)

[Truegritter]

Hey Cat and Trapt!

I would further clarify... what you guys posted.

There was a time where I would not have said that.

Hiurt people, hurt people. And I hurt when I came here.

I needed boundaries because I had expectations and because I had not healed.

I did not understood what I do now.

So boundaries were needed.

The pain came from

expectations

from anger

from me feeling like a victim

from the fear of feeling taken advantage of

from me rescuing and fixing

from fear of being disrespected

from someone calling me a doormat.

from fear of my W making destructive choices for herself

from fear that I may get divorced.

That man no longer exists. His corpse is here and you can find him in these pages if you look back in time.

I am not ashamed of him because he died so I could live a better life.

And so here I am

Just steppin'

[PEI]

Hey Grit ...

I too now "get" it. I take action based on who I am, and who I want to be, not how someone has treated me. Easy enough to say ... takes a while to grasp though huh.

Happy Little Friday buddy

PEI

[fisherman]

Hey Cat, yeah I'm still around from time to time.

And so here I am

Just steppin'

And doing a mighty fine job of it!

Grit, was being Grit. True to himself. At the end of the day, regardless of what his W has or has not done, this is who HE wants to be.

This is what it all boils down to, and as long as Grit is proud of who he is and wants to be, thats all that matters.

People may not agree and that's fine,(actually it's normal, we're all different) but the ones that disagree AND give you a bunch of shitt for it?

I say F@ck'em.

[smith18]

I am reminded of a quote from John Wayne...

I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the hell they please.

[ericmsant2]

Time,

I think the point that everyone has made is quite simple. All of have a right to our own choice and our own opinion.

It is clear to me that your choice worked for you and Grit's have worked for him.

IMO - Grit has choosen not to be angry, not to hold resentment, not to have any expectations but rather to just live his life the WAY he sees fit. You have choosen the same.

Does that make you right and him wrong? I suspect not. The proof is in how BOTH of YOU move forward in YOUR lives.

One of the biggest things I have learned from these boards is that each of us must do what we feel we need to do and not based what WE do on someone else interactions, responses, or actions.

I pray that both of you may live your lives in the manner that works for each of you.

God Bless,
Eric

[fisherman]

I pray that both of you may live your lives in the manner that works for each of you.

Yes! I'm down with that as long as is it doesn't involve a tutu.