tired of this

[A_goodman]

So your guys wives had huge issues in the marriage (and you guys either had some clue or were scared to speak up) and you call your wives cowardly. This is strategically a huge error to see this way.

Just because it's not how you would handle it doesn't make it "cowardly." Time to be a leader not a whiner.

Coach,

I have thought about this since I saw it yesterday. I didn't reply my first thought, because I've learned to really examine my motivations when dealt a 2X4. Ususally they are on target and I am acting/writing/feeling in a way that is driven by emotion and thus I can't see the truth the way you guys can.

On reflection, I would agree with your assesment IF the main point was just to belly ache about my W. I think my post that instigated this discussion was a little off the point. I added it to the point that I had made previously about my growing apprehension over some "foggy" feelings I was having bout her.

Maybe mentioning "cowardice" was a jab. I'm not sure abbout that, but it does play into the things I've learned about the pessimistic mindset. Perhaps, I should have called it defeatism which really applies better.

Rather than whining about the issue of her mindset, I was trying to examine my own and whether ours were compatable in the long run. I have been looking at this from a position of detachment. Maybe I'm too detached. Or maybe second guessing one's own desires and motivation to keep holding out hope are a side effect of truly detaching. I don't know the answer to that.

But I do know that my point was not to hammer W or WAW's in general. It wasn't even an effort to understand their motivations for the way they go about things. Although, that is a valuable thing and the discussion that developed was a reasonable effort to do just that. My part of it was and is still self examination.

Thanks for being a good friend to me over these months, and please smack me when you see the need. It's much appreciated.