Two weeks ago, when I came home from work, he confronted me in the driveway. He had already moved his things out. The only thing he said to me was “You can’t do this and be with me. I’m leaving. You’ll be served in a few days. And served I was. During the next few days, I left desperate voicemails, asking him to go to therapy, telling him I loved him, etc.
We have had one face to face conversation sine he left. He didn’t want to be alone with me, so he asked my sister to supervise. During that conversation, at the advice of my therapist, I said almost nothing. I just listened. He only wanted to speak about divorce and what he wanted and did not want in the divorce. I only said, that I needed time to think about it, and I hope we could reconcile and be stronger than ever. He says it’s not an option. I did say I was sorry, which he doesn’t believe.
I would do anything to get him back.I’m reading the 7 steps. I never got involved with anyone physically. I know that doesn’t really matter. He feels betrayed, angry, etc. He says we can’t get back together because he doesn’t want me to be the victim of his anger. I’ve stopped all contact with my old “friends”. Changed my phone number so no one could contact me that shouldn’t contact me.
My therapist says he made his decision and I need to respect that and let him go, but honestly, I can’t imagine my life without him. I do love him. I’ve made HUGE mistakes. I would do ANYTHING to fix it. He could smash my computer with a sledgehammer and password protect everything else so I can’t access his computer, etc. Give up my cell phone. Anything, and I do mean that. Please help.
SoAsh,
I will have some advice for you in another post, but this needs to be said:
Everyone needs to look at the above. It's funny; I thought hardline ultimatums weren't supposed to work? Would only drive the cheating spouse toward their OM/OW??
Hmmmmm.
Robx and Gucci say it all the time, but no one listens. Betrayed spouses need to study the dynamics of the wayward spouses. It's only when the BS becomes the wayward/walkaway, that the dynamic changes. By saying "this isn't working for me anymore," suddenly the other spouse will do ANYTHING to try to reconcile and make the marriage work!!!
Sorry for the semi-hijack, but this needed to be pointed out. I'll try to post something to you shortly, SoAsh. I'm sorry for your pain, and I give you props for having the guts to post here, and to address your issues.
