Need some encouragement

[kissak]

Trust me WCW...Im trying so hard to do that. I stay busy when he is around.

Last night was weird. He came home about an hour late from work, said he had a terrible day at work, he ate very little for supper. The kids went outside to play and he went and sat down in the recliner in the living room...I ignored him for the most part because he was just sitting there. No tv or anything. Just sitting there, staring off into space. I finally went into the living room and asked if he was ok. Of course I got the usual "Im fine". But he sat there doing nothing for about 10 minutes. I asked again if something was wrong...he said he was fine.

So, I decided to just let him be, I gave him the opportunity to talk and he didnt want to so I decided to get on the computer to do a few things. Finally he snapped out of it and started working on his laptop.

I stayed out of his way for the most part, but when he talked to me I answered politely.

Well, I went to bed early. My daughter comes into my room to tell me her daddy was mad and she didnt know why. She said he got up to walk outside to smoke a cigg and said to her on the way out the door "I told you to get your a$$ off that #$%# computer before I rip it out of the f-ing wall!" I was furious that he was talking to her like this...so I went into the living room and asked him why he had to talk to her like that? He said "like what?" I said what she had told me...he denied saying that, but then turned around and said that was the only way he could get her to do what she was told! I told him that I didnt think he should talk to children like that! He disagreed, I just walked away and said "no, you dont have to talk to them like that!"

Then this morning I noticed his checkbook laying out and he took it to work with him. I cant imagine why he took it with him, the only thought that crosses my mind is the fact that he gets paid tomorrow and wants to move out now! And maybe he is taking his checkbook to write a deposit for some place. He definitly isnt taking it to balance it or pay bills. He left all his bills on the counter and he hasnt balance it or written anything in the register since June!!!

Im suspicious that he will be leaving this weekend. Dont know when or how for sure, but Im wondering if he will chicken out and just leave like all the other times. I dont think he will be able to face me.

Im trying to prepare for this just in case. The only thing I can think of to say to him is "when you leaving?"

Not gonna be any begging and pleading like before. Im sure he wont be expecting that! I will let him know to never ask me if he can come back without a doctor, pastor and pshyc signing something to let me know that he is over his ISSUES!!

Enough is enough...I deserve better than this.