My wife informed me last night that she cheated.

[saffie]

Originally Posted By: saffie
Man up would be my suggestion.

How do I do that in this situation? Do I throw down an ultimatum? Do I leave if she doesn't comply? I just don't know what to do. I've never been more confused in my life.

Be the man you once were. Work on your self confidence. Work on your appearance. Find who it was she once fell in love with in the first place.

I wouldn't be throwing down ultimatums - well not unless you are willing to follow through. Never threaten something you won't follow through - you just end up looking like a complete tool if you do that.

Seems to me you W felt bad about what happened re the ONS - and she told you about it. It doesn't make it ok, but it sort of indicates to me that she is trying to be open and honest with you - which is a great start.

You can't change her but you can change YOU. I personally think you need to work on your self confidence. Start dressing smarter and act more confident - even if inside you don't feel it. Women want a man they can respect. I know that for most men their work is strongly attached to who they feel they are and how they judge their worth......but there is so much more to you than that.

My H will 'allow' me to pretty much go along as I like, but I know there are certain boundaries that I wouldn't cross - maybe it's quite different for me as I am a SAHM and I have a pretty good life, so I respect my H's decisions on some things even though I may disagree with them. I like it that he has this 'edge' to him though; I wouldn't respect him if he was a push over. When something BIG comes along though, we tackle it as a team.

In summary though I guess I am saying, become the man who your W is proud to have on her arm, the man she would want to 'ravish 'her, NOT the one that whimpers in the corner and begs forgiveness. You did what you did re the getting drunk etc. There were reasons. It's been and gone.

Get up and act like the man in your house.

There is a book called No More Mr Nice Guy - perhaps you need to read it. It can be a bit extreme, and you need only take from it what you need.