Looking for advice, WAW

[looking2keepmywf]

I took my son to a fun park, and we had a great time. Overall, it was a fun weekend at least with my son and I.

Sunday, I went to the football game with a client while my wife took my S and SD to a different fun park. When I dropped him off, I learned that she was also taking her 'friend's' son too. Of course, this made me mad, but tried not to let her know about it.

Then, when I got home her 'friend's' son was at my house - playing with my S. I, of course got mad and told her that we need to have boundaries that I don't know this guy, or his S, and that I did not want her to bring him to our home again. I really didn't want her to introduce someone into my S's life that may not be around. She thought I overreacted, but got the message. She now thinks that I don't want any of her friends at our house, but really what I meant was someone who we both didn't know - me, or her. I tried to explain to her 'what if it was me doing that', but again, she just thinks I overreacted.

This week was going OK, and then this morning, she seems to have a renewed focus on separating. She has increased her zeal for not being home when I am, and is already talking about 'easing' my son into one week that I'm with him, and one week that she is with him - even though she has not moved out yet (because she still has to find a 'real' job).

She now is going to talk to her parents tomorrow night and tell them what is going on, and likely will be spending much more time with them. Although I have a great relationship with them, they will not react strongly in any way, and will likely just go along with her request.

I've been spending time reading the DB forums, and getting positive - even though I'm hurting. Today, I actually felt the most positive I have felt in a long time - despite the discussion this morning.

I have continued to work on positive changes for me personally - I have lost ~ 14 lbs now, ran seven miles today, and am feeling better.

The biggest challenge I have is to not let me anger/sadness affect the way I am with my S. I've found myself being short with him, and even getting mad - knowing it's not something he's done, but the way I feel about my WAW. I continue to try and be patient with him and do things together to better our relationship - even if he's only 6.

She plans on telling my Step-D's about what is going on in about 3 weeks. Honestly, there is a big part of me that will be relieved when everyone finally knows what is going on. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's because she dropped the bomb, and won't make any attempts to go to MC - or to give me a shot at changing. She really seems committed to leaving now - more than ever.

I've decided to really give every effort to be positive, happy, and 'act as if' this is not going to make me sad. I sure have my moments, but I recognize that nobody wants to be around someone who is sad, feeling sorry for themselves, and generally a negative person. I also want to try and enjoy what I do have - which is a great relationship with her family, and most importantly, my S - and SD's.

I'm sensing that she may be moving more towards moving out and living with her Mom in the near term. This is likely because she feels that she doesn't have 'her space' here and with me setting the boundaries, maybe even less so.

So, I am taking it day by day, trying to be positive, and trying to work on my work travel schedule to coincide with her request to travel when our girls are with us, and not when they are not. This, of course gives her a full week to be Mom (and she hopes I will be gone a good chunk of that time), and when I'm back - she can be away and do whatever she wants.

It's really hard to just let her go, comply, and be positive about it, when I am hurting. But, I feel that's what I need to do at this stage. And, in many ways, it will be easier once we have sold the house, she's moved out, and I have my own place too.