I never realized this, but it does seem that if the OP was a stranger (like in my case), that it is much easier to deal with.
In my fathers case, it was a very good friend of his that was the OP for my mothers affair. I can really understand why he pretty much cut off all contact with my mother and has never spoken with my step father since.
I have unfortunately had it happen both ways. The first OP we had the little bast*rd and his wife over to the house for Thanksgiving dinner and it was during a time that I found out later was right in the middle of their affair. This last time (heavy emphasis on the "last") it was someone I didn't know and have only seen pictures of, once I discovered the affair. I can't say either one was better or worse, they both hit like a low blow taking the wind out of me.
A betrayal of this proportion is not easy to fathom and heal from regardless of who the OP is. The feeling of a sudden loss of your dreams and hopes, severing of that deeply rooted trust two people built and held near and dear and the feeling of rejection- it's horrible. One of the worst things that can happen to someone- especially someone who was blindsided and never could've imagined THEIR spouses were capable of such things.
Sometimes I think it's a miracle we've made it this far and we can look back and be proud of how many obstacles we've over come, what we've learnt from all this despite the grave conditions and even joke about it. And that is having it easy...because in addition to all the emotional pain when you have to also take care of your health, finances, legal BS etc in the midst of the sh!t storm you really have to be a rock of a person to survive it all.
Sometimes I think there should be a divorce survivor holiday worldwide when the WASs are not allowed to leave their homes.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
My sister texted me today (after our FIRST argument in 32 years last week) and it was very cute. It said "I still love you, do you still love me?" LOL! It's funny because when we were little and I got my own room she would leave me those notes all the time on my pillow because she was sad we didn't share a room anymore.
We talked for a long time and worked out why we were so upset and have formulated a plan to move forward with this issue. We are having another meeting tomorrow night with my mom.
I feel SO much better about that! Thanks for all the support and kind thoughts!
Supposed to be talking to D tonight but messaged him instead. Hopefully he will respect my wishes.
I found out via my labs there are some issues with my meds... I will live but the next 8 wks might be a bit more difficult from a physical standpoint.
Yay!!! on working things out with your sis. I'm so excited!!!
Glad you sent D an email- hopefully it'll do for a while and you can cross it off your to-do list for now.
Lots of (((((hugs))))) on the health thing. Hang in there...do what you can do and leave the rest to power greater than ourselves. (((N)))
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Glad to hear you and your sis worked it out, CG. I love that she would leave you notes. That is so cute
Hopefully your meds issue can be resolved soon.
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
Sometimes I think it's a miracle we've made it this far ...because in addition to all the emotional pain when you have to also take care of your health, finances, legal BS etc in the midst of the sh!t storm you really have to be a rock of a person to survive it all.
ITA. The amount of stuff involved is nuts!
Idk the girl h slept with but I do wonder about her. Unfortunately for me, he told me a lot of graphic details of their sex, their conversation, etc and it's hard to get out of my mind. Like I really wanted to know how many times they had sex and that he was so annoyed cause she wanted to keep doing it. That it happened at his friend's house(he never took me to his friend's house once in all the years we were together). Then, the admission that he'd lied about having his GC for awhile, the same day he told me he f-cked this girl... and then the D. You know what pisses me off the most...that he told me at all. If he wanted a D, he should have just ended it all right there and not peeped a word. It's like he he cut me even deeper by telling me the details of his hook up. He says he never saw her after that but I can't help but wonder if he's seeing this broad. She's 23.
A betrayal of this proportion is not easy to fathom and heal from regardless of who the OP is. The feeling of a sudden loss of your dreams and hopes, severing of that deeply rooted trust two people built and held near and dear and the feeling of rejection- it's horrible. One of the worst things that can happen to someone- especially someone who was blindsided and never could've imagined THEIR spouses were capable of such things.
Sometimes I think it's a miracle we've made it this far and we can look back and be proud of how many obstacles we've over come, what we've learnt from all this despite the grave conditions and even joke about it. And that is having it easy...because in addition to all the emotional pain when you have to also take care of your health, finances, legal BS etc in the midst of the sh!t storm you really have to be a rock of a person to survive it all.
I really like this...
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
