Well another bad night. I have been working interstate for the last 3 months - flying home on weekends. I didn't want to be away from home so long but was told that I was the only one who had the experience to lead the team and if we turned down the job we would have to lay three people off. I called up last night to say goodnight to the kids.
Stupidly I send my wife an email about 3/4 weeks ago setting out some of my thoughts on our relationship based on some individual counselling I have been having and some books I have been reading. It was meant to be constructive and set out ways I thought we both needed to work at our relationship.
My wife sent a reply where basically any area that i admitted that I may need to work on (being emotionally supportive etc) she agreed with but any areas that I argued she needed to change (her anger issues, ending the EA) she either ignored or argued it was my fault (jealousy and insecurity).
Last night she wanted to discuss her response. I told her I did not want to - I had plans and would be better to discuss face-to-face. But she insisted so I told her I thought it showed a lack of willingness to accept any personal responsibility for our relationship, it showed her intention to continue to breach boundaries by continuing the EA and showed a lack of respect for me.
She then brought up an incident last year where I bumped into an ex girlfriend at a work function. I said hello to this person and they pretended to not know who i was which is fine - we had a relatively messy breakup (16 years ago). The way my Ws argument goes is that if this person had not brushed me off we might have had a pleasant chat, we might have arranged to meet up for coffee, we might have remained in contact etc. So basically trying to justify her EA on the basis of a situation that did not happen. I pointed out how stupid her argument was and she called me a F---wit and hung up.
She then sent me a text saying that I was making her miserable and that if she was making me feel the same way that perhaps we should separate.
So I sent a reply saying that if she felt that way I would help her pack her bags.
She then sent a reply saying "You are so nasty to me when all I have done is support and encourage you".
Since then, no further contact. I am going to a play tonight then flying home tomorrow so we will see what another weekend brings.
And thanks g450 - it is helpful to know that I am not the only one. And I agree, I just don't get it either.
