You have been fighting this urge since the beginning. 8 months is a long time....in our world. In MLC land, it is a blink. If you decide to continue standing, it could be a number of years before your M gets back on track.
Every other week or so, I have a day where I want to pick up the phone and say "File already! I am sick of this". (Or hit him with it!lol) I have noticed these feelings of mine are directly related to an expectation of some sort. Expectations will destroy you.
So, I reason that by standing, I am not losing anything other than a warm bed. I am living my life as if he is not coming back to the M, except for the dating thing, which I probably wouldn't jump into right now anyway. I have too much to process about myself, to many things keeping me busy. Divorced or standing, I would be in the same place right now. I can D anytime.
It is scary as you realize your detachment. The first time I realized i didn't care what H was doing, I freaked.
Spending a month acting as if you are D'd is an interesting experiment. Will you spend a month acting married but your H is away on a mission and off the grid? I think that would be a hard one to pull off!! I might try it!
Whatever you decide will be the right decision! Just please do not choose rashly or based on emotions. There are some articles on standing here and here and here
Last edited by WhatNow; 09/22/1011:16 PM.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
