lost

[sandi2]

One thing I want to make sure you understood what I meant by not forcing anything on the kids. They do need structure in the home. They will even test you, at some point, to see if you love them enough to make them follow whatever your house rules are. Expect them to act out b/c they do not know how to deal with this. Most of all, they must be assured that you still love them. Even when they have to be disciplined...they know that dad is doing that b/c he "cares" about them.

I sure understand about the cost of counseling. I think most public schools have counselors available to the students. The teachers & counselors need to be alerted of the stitch, especially your oldest son who has said he didn't care if he lived or died. That needs to be taken seriously. He is suffering so badly. He will probably be the one who will rebel the most.

Does your family attend Church? If you have a Pastor, he could counsel with your oldest child, at least, and probably all of them.

I remind the kids if they want mommy to know things, let me know so i can mark them down.

I would suggest that you don't do that b/c it places too much strain on the kids. To them, it's like they are having to choose in favor of mom or dad. Besides, you are enabling her by giving her all the information about the kids. She needs to suffer "loss".

You cannot force her to be a good parent and you cannot give the kids all the answers they want. Even if you do not know what to say, you need to show strength in front of them. It's so important that they see their daddy being strong during this terrible time. Their mother has left them, and she's acting crazy...and trying to get them to like a new man for their new daddy. It scares the mess out of them and they may wonder if you are going to pull a stunt like their mom did.

but man its hard when my 6 year old asks me to help write a letter to mommy.

Have you suggested that she draw and color pictures instead of writing a letter? Maybe she could practice whatever her homework might be, like writing her ABC's or her numbers, etc.

The goal is to get my 2 step children off of their ISP

What is ISP?

Did you lose ten pounds in one week??? Surely not! That does not sound healthy. Are you eating?

I hope you're buying some new clothes to go with the new body image! Always look well groomed and smelling good. The kids will notice, you'll feel good about yourself, and mommy will hear about all of it from the mouths of babes...