With all the changes that have happened, have you physically changed a lot? Is your physical appearance less attractive to your W now - were you a snappy dresser and now you dress down? Were you physically toned before and well groomed but now you have let yourself go? Do you feel worthy of your W's respect? Do you feel worthy of your W?
I went through a depressed phase after losing my job where I kind of got sloppy. Also, having Crohn's Disease and not knowing it did affect my lifestyle. That's gotten better now that I've been diagnosed and am taking medication. I have more energy and I work out more often. I actually feel like dressing better and looking better.
Originally Posted By: saffie
You need to pinpoint what it is you have lost in that area, ( and my guess would be your 'masculine edge' and your self respect). It sounds like perhaps you have so much guilt from the drunken night incident and your job situation, that you are going round like a dog skulking and expecting to be, (and thinking it deserves to be), kicked.
I think you may be on to something with this. I am not the self confident, in control, powerful man I was when we married.
I come form a working class family. Those values of a man always having a job and supporting his family are deeply ingrained in me. Not having a job and being rejected by so many has really taken a toll on me.
I also feel terrible for my actions the night I lost control. I was a monster that night and I feel awful about it. I do feel like I deserve to be kicked. I was always my wife's protector and I turned into a threat. I regret that more than anything in my life.
Originally Posted By: saffie
Man up would be my suggestion.
How do I do that in this situation? Do I throw down an ultimatum? Do I leave if she doesn't comply? I just don't know what to do. I've never been more confused in my life.
