Why would you put a book in the exhange bag and not exchange a word about it? What is this? Sorry, I may have missed something but that doesnt sound very... brave nor does it show leadership or the other things men on here keep repeating.
You are walking carefully, you say. I see a man who doesnt know what he is doing and is giving mixed messages.
What you do now, sets the pace and the context of your piecing phase. I got burnt a few times. I am sharing what I learnt. If you want open free communication you dont "put a book about sex" for your wife to read, while you still dont know if you want to be with her. You dont "tell her" sex is the biggest problem you have (even if it was, I dont believe that is your problem now my friend) and you ask/communicate questions about things that are important. Gives her a clear idea of what she is up against/ what YOU are up against and gives you some more info/data about what she is thinking/how she has processed things.
What do you want? How do you want it. What would be ideal for you? What stands in the way? Share that with her. See if your "ideals" match, then see what has to be done to get there. Would you both agree to give it your all? Do you both realise how difficult it is? The phases you will go through? No games. There is your chance to lead. My 2 cents.
