Blindsided

[evolve35]

Thanks again for the responses. I truly appreciate any and all input.
Figuring out what went wrong and fixing it... this is where I feel my situation is tricky.
I am not sure how many of you have read my original post so I am going to sum it up:
I am in a residency training program. It is grueling (he is acutely aware of this and another reason he feels guilty for doing this to me now, in my last year of the program...) For those of you suggesting I let him see what it is like to live without me- to a large degree, he HAS been learning to live without me for 3 years. We have both had periods of telling the other how lonely we are, the lack of intimacy has been very obvious. He was the most recent to say how lonely he was. I know that when I told him that 2 years ago, I was in an EA- not admitting that to myself at the time.
We both struggled for the same thing, trying to be closer to one another.
I hear you in saying to put away the 5LL. I will do that. I have to say however, I have gotten a positive response from doing it. This is where this all gets so confusing... aren't I supposed to 'keep doing what is working'?
I like the rose idea BTW!!
I skipped replying to his last e-mail/text, they are becoming more frequent. He just sent another about a medical topic I had asked him long ago. He clearly spent some time researching it and citing references so I could find it. It was something I had asked him about months ago and now he decides to answer...