I hope that my H will also reach that point too, but from what I have seen in the past with him before we separated, I honestly don't know what will happen. I've seen him strong (tell his mother off about the terrible comments she made about him adopting my S19), but then I've seen him weak. Especially with his father. I never in my life saw a grown man afraid like H is of their father.
I would say that to him (before all of this happened) and he would say it's called respect and I would say respect is one thing but to be that afraid of a parent at our ages is not right.
I sure hope that I have managed to keep my kids from H's family's unhealthy ways. H has not seen S19 except for one time for 5 min. since the separation. They were fighting before H left a lot. That breaks my heart, by my S19 that has learning disabilities said to me a couple of times "Mom, H is like a little boy in a grown man's body and he will realize one day and come home." D13 is a different story. She is very smart, so I tell her if H is drinking heavily and they aren't at his place then she is to call me and I will come get her. I told her not to pay attention to her grandmother or aunt and if they keep talking about her or upset her to call me right away and I will pick her up.
At first she wasn't going with H, but she said she misses him and wants to be with him so she puts up with his mother and sister. So the best I can do for her is tell her the truth about them (his family), which she already said she sees, and be there for her if they or H causes her any hurt. She was in IC and so was I and so was S19.
D13 and H were sooo close but now all he does with her is take her to his sister's or mother's and does nothing with her. And believe me, he has the money to do it. Where as I can't even make ends meet.
