Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[pookie69]

"W, I've been doing some thinking decided, and I would prefer if that you should only called me about matters concerning our son from now on."

If she asks why.... "It is just That's how I feel right now."

[soleil]

^ Perfect.

Btw, how do you guys write w/ the "strikethroughs?"

[john28]

[s]

[Coach]

"W, I've been doing some thinking decided, and I would prefer if that you should only called me about matters concerning our son from now on."

If she asks why.... "It is just That's how I feel right now."

Don't tell her how you feel . Tell her what you think. Huge difference.

[john28]

Thanks Coach! Perfect! No feeling!

[soleil]

[s]

Thanks. Have been trying to figure this out for the longest time!

[john28]

"W, I've been doing some thinking decided, and I would prefer if that you should only called me about matters concerning our son from now on."

If she asks why.... "It is just That's how I feel right now."

Don't tell her how you feel . Tell her what you think. Huge difference.

So:
I've decided you should only call me with matters concerning our son from now on.

She asks Why? Reply:
I think that is what I want from now on.

W: Oh honey.. why? I don't understand, how can you act like this...
M: I've done a lot of thinking. This is what I want.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

She asks Why? Reply:
I think that is what I want from now on.

Drop the "I think" and just say "This is want I want now"

using "I think" comes across as uncertain.
And you need to tell her you're certain.

[soleil]

Yeah, get rid of "i think."

[john28]

Yesterday I wasn't able to give the "don't call me anymore" speech. She came over to drop S4 off later than normal and I was making dinner. She came up behind me and gave me a nice hug, asked about my day and hung out for a few minutes. I felt annoyed by it. It wasn't an appropriate time to have that conversation because of her demeanor and I was rushed for time because I was cooking and had errands to run after. I am still going dark though, some mixed results so far.

She asked to stay for dinner last night, and I said that would be fine since I made lasanga and there was plenty. Plus, she looks like complete crap and hasn't been eating - she probably weighs a whole 110 lbs now... less than even when I met her. I know it's not my job to save her, but she did pursue. We all ate together. She asked about my cooking class and my workout schedule. I told her I thought it would be tough cooking for one person, but I eat 6 times a day so I was doing really well with leftovers and learned how to cook for a few days at once and was excited about it(new diet and workout). Definite 180 for me. I never cooked or ever touched leftovers. She seemed really suprised about my progress in my diet, workout, and cooking.

I never ever cooked in our M. In 5 years, I probably cooked MAYBE 10 times ever. That's like twice a year. And last night I made a full meal - lasagna, french bread, fresh corn/peas/carrots, and desert. I was proud of myself The last time I cooked was in college and that consisted of Mac and Cheese and Ramen.

My guard is up bigtime here. I'm still going forward with the "don't call me" decision/speech. I know that is the right decision for me and for this R. It felt inappropriate to do so last night.

My plan is to have that conversation with her when I drop S4 off on Friday morning.

She's been sending me texts all day today about nothing important. Not replying.

We've hit some serious financial problems here now. We have next to nothing left in savings because of her decision to move out, therapy, and her starting community college. The money we did have was supposed to pay for mediation. That's not there anymore, and the most we can put in savings is about 400/month to pay for it. So, no talk of mediation in the past week because she knows she's drained our bank accounts and we can't afford it.

I think right now we have about $400 to our name. Her CC is maxed out too. Things might get interesting. I'm not worried about money myself because I've got a large trust that I can fall back on if I need to - which she can't touch at all. I'm not the trustee, so she knows she's up the creek without a paddle.

Plus, I think I've mentioned it here before, but my parents are fairly wealthy. W is scared to death of that I've never asked them for a dime since being M, but my Father said during our golf tourney together this past weekend that he was willing to "pay whatever it takes, let me know how much you need. I'll write the biggest check I need to."