I don't know whether your H is in MLC or not--and it's probably not worth spending a lot of energy on it if you're not sure, because that's energy which you steal from your own life.
It seems to me that a MLC is just one form a depression can take. I guess I was depressed until I worked through my abuse, but did I have a form of MLC myself? I don't know. All I know is that things finally got bad enough that I had to change my ways of thinking, to save myself. I suspect all depressions have certain characteristics in common.
I hope your H will reach the point where he knows what boundaries he needs to establish with both families, and has the strength to do so. Also, out of curiosity, have you managed to keep your children from being sucked into the unhealthy dynamic your H has with his family?
