Everyone here posts based upon their experience and what they think they did or did not do right.
To me it seems that you are rushing forward to a divorce.
In your real life, it is more than likely that friends and family are encouraging you toward this goal, I mean she is cheating on you, disrespecting you and hurting you, what friend or family member is going to want you to stick around for that. We as people seldom want to see our friends and family hurt.
I do not see many people asking you to slow down, I see people glad handing you for sticking to a boundary. And...you know what? Good for you for being able to.
You came to Divorce Busting, not to learn just one thing...bounadries. But many things.
Including: If something ISN'T working change it. It is a pretty basic idea of DBing.
I am suggesting to put the brakes on, not the gas pedal.
A little kindness.
Boundaries do work, but not by themselves.
Protect yourself, find yourself.
Good Morning Jack,
My dissolution hearing is 09/30/10 (8 days away). Doesn't get any faster than that. I had a choice, give her dissolutionment or she threatened she would file divorce on her own. The advice I've read here is give her what she wants, you can't stop her.
This boundary has just recently been created. I've tried every WRONG way you can think of and it has gotten me no where except further away from re-conciliation. I'm dealing with a full fledged WAW in an Affair (that was only exposed recently). Unable to reach through to her and when she has communicated has been lies or alternative motive.
I'm protecting myself now from any further emotional damage. I've told her/asked her several times to stop with the lies and tell me the truth. I've no other choice but to cut off bad behavior and move to 3rd party communication. I do however, have the power to stop the dissolution if she does not cooperate. At this point it's only going to push her further away, but it will help me to leave our marriage knowing I did everything I could to protect myself and show her I will not be a doormat. Also on a positive note, maybe she'll see me lead for a change and show some self-respect.
