Right now H and I find ourselves in a place where we often get stuck. We both agree that we need to change our situation. He is trying to be patient and not pressure me, I recognize this and I appreciate it but I am not yet feeling sexual or comfortable opening up to him. Usually this is where he gets frustrated at going without and loses patience with me and then I feel anxious and give up because I don't know what to do. I am good with snuggling and cuddling, but not ready to "go all the way." So I am wondering if any one has suggestions for some in-between activities that will help my husband feel that he is not being deprived and also are allowing me to make small steps in feeling comfortable in the sexual arena again?
Racing in from left field, it SpinFree!
Is there a way that you can show him what you find sexy?
Show him by nibbling/caressing the parts that you think are hot? Run your fingers through his hair? Have him put "his big strong hands" on your calf/hands/hair. If he gets anxious for more, you can tell him "this isn't a big mac, it's a four course meal, wait for it..."
For me, the hardest part of my SSM was the feeling of rejection/undesirability. Showing me that she desired me even if/when we're not having sex is super huge for me.
If he's frustrated/grumpy let him take care of himself during the playtime or after. Let him be responsible for his own release. You be responsible for showing your partner that you desire him. (and vice versa)
SpinFree, on the edge of being free from a SSM (and into a great new marriage with the same lady) and into the wide open victory of being much less angry
