I think I might understand what's going on, Goodfight. Your H's needs were not met when he was a child. But he was too young and inexperienced to be able to address it. However, he was left with feelings of, "A real family would ... run to each other when they're in trouble," or whatever he might have told himself.
A MLC develops when a hurt person is unable to confront the truth about their past. In your H's case, actually recognizing, admitting and working through all the hurts done to him seems (to his depressed mind) like a terrifying process which would tear him to pieces.
So, instead, he tries to prove to himself that his family is actually perfect--look, I can go to them when I'm in trouble. They must love me, because they give me advice (or whatever his issues are). I understand how he feels, because after I'd escaped from the person who molested me as a child, I too tried to convince myself that he was a friend--I tried to remake the relationship with him to something that WAS appropriate.
In the end, however, I felt so much rage I had to acknowledge the original hurt, an then work through it. I hope that your H gets to the point where he is strong enough to stop pretending as well.
