I think it's OK to let go

[TimeHeals]

Is it bad to be envious of his state of mind and bettering sitch?

Bad? Your ego is telling you, "I will be happy if only...". It isn't making you happy

Your ego is useful. It helps you make plans, helps you learn from the past, but it's lying to you about being really happy. You can be happy right now just by not identifying with your ego and your fear.

Where your ego can help you: your marriage will not improve if a few things don't happen.

1. Your wife needs to let go of her affair: no contact, no totems or trophies.

2. You don't respect yourself enough to set clear boundaries and enforce them (e.g. No Contact, no sweatshirt). You are to the enforcing them point, so you need to make decissions about how you are going to enforce your boundaries. Initiating divorce, initiating short-selling your house and asking her to find her own living arrangements while you do the same? These are things to discuss in MC).

3. If you aren't happy, it won't improve either.