Blindsided

[gutwrenching]

If he is having an A, it does make a difference. DBing with someone in an active EA/PA is more difficult than if one is not. His appearance means nothing...could be an internet or the infamous facebook EA. Depression is another interesting twist to things...

It will be hard to move forward if he is depressed and not seeking help and if all his thoughts and energy are going toward OW.

5LL is a great book, but keep that in your hip pocket for now...it is too early for that. He has to want that from you, and right now he doesn't. Right now he doesn't deserve that from you. You are wasting good ideas that could be useful in the future if he starts to come around...they aren't doing you any good right now.

You need to figure out what went wrong and how you become a better person from learning that and probably need to figure out if there is OW.