We went to MC last Friday and I thought we had a pretty good session. The MC even remarked that perhaps we were unaware of this but the two of us were exhibiting warmth to each other. On the other hand, we are still in a holding pattern. W still will not commit to staying and for the moment, I agreed to defer a decision until November; my conditions stated above still apply for staying—continue MC and full transparency. I also reiterated that even during the time period she is making the decision whether to stay or go, I expect no contact with OM. What she does when she leaves if we separate is her business but as long as she's living in our apartment, I expect here to act like a married women when it comes to inappropriate contact with the opposite sex.
Now before you all jump on me for caving in, the reality of the situation is that I will be on two business trips in the second half of October taking me out of town for most of those two weeks, and I will be gone for 10 days in the beginning of November on a photography trip out West that I am so looking forward to it. It made no sense to me to force a decision when in effect we will be mostly separated anyway. So that means we are in limbo for a while.
Here is my dilemma. How does one balance gathering intel from the need to detach and GAL? As far as I can tell, there has been no contact with the OM nor any other inappropriate behavior for the past 2 weeks; however, the need to monitor to verify/enforce my boundary interferes with my ability to emotionally detach from the situation. Do I just stop and trust (really hard to do right now) or continue until we reach a decision point? Thoughts and comments are appreciated.
Me-43 W-41 S-3 M- almost 7 W ONS affair - 8/9/10, confronted 8/30/10 Separation - Pending My sitch
