It sounds as though you need to know what ALL of your options are. Once they are laid out on a table you can ruminate about them a bit, sleep on it, and hopefully in a few days one or two of the options will emerge as best for your situation.
I agree with everyone above. Please find a qualified professional (who has knowledge of tax laws and D law) who is not emotionally invested in this business situation to outline your options for you. If you are beginning to move down the slope of making big financial decisions, now is the time to have everything witnessed and documented. Bringing an objective advisor into the mix may help to keep H's emotions in check too.
