I also kinda feel for Mr. Serenity. I don't think he is in a good place. I'd rather be where WE are than where many of the WAS are. For their sakes, I hope they find a measure of remorse, acceptance and eventual peace about their behaviour. I don't say it to sound judgmental because we will all mess up in varying degrees in life and we have all contributed to our M issues. I just don't think that they can find any true knowledge of self and deep seated joy without coming to a place of remorse. For the sakes of WAS who have been loved by us all, I hope they come to a better place. I wouldn't wish their choices on my worst enemy.
I have followed you as much as possible, and you have really changed your life for the better. I have so much respect for you. There is hope for all of us seeing what you have accomplished.
(((hugs)))
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
If nothing has been learned the past 19 months, I should have realized that when he is nice, the knife is going to come out and be driven in at full-force
I'm so sorry this happened to you but thank you for this...I needed to hear it bcuz this is coming my way too.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
This just happened to me, too. He was nice all week and more chatty than usual. Then today he says we need to talk about introducing the kids to someone else bc I am going to start having ow spend time with them
Kara~ I was my friend and for a brief moment in time, I allowed him to let some of the wind out of my sails. However, I am back on course for a better life. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, the choices he has made nor the pain he has inflicted. (((Hugs)))
LSG~ Thank you for your kind words. Very humbling and very appreciated. (((Hugs)))
Luv~ Forewarned is forearmed...If you know it is coming, prepare yourself ahead of time. Don't let your guard fall. (((Hugs)))
BobbiJo~ We have talked about this and you are stronger than this... I will respond to you on the alt. (((Hugs)))
Be blessed today my friends.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
BobbiJo ~ It started out good, went downhill from there as I am about to explain. (((Hugs)))
Journal ~
Reading through the D papers H presented me with was a joke... I sent a copy to my L who strongly advised me not to sign them...
Among the fact that he doesn't want any money from his hands to come into mine, he wants full custody of our oldest son, no time-share for me and unlimited access for him with our youngest son...
He keeps the car and his full retirement...
I get zero alimony, my health and dental benefits expire within 30 days of signing...
No child support nor back support...
Oh please tell me where to sign that crap.
The last few days have been a bit stressful, you see H bought our 7 year old a cell phone - Yes I said 7 year old...Well 7 year old has decided when life is not treating him fairly (ie: Mommy is punishing him for not listening, doing not so hot in school etc...) he can call and tell Daddy how mean Mommy is.
I let H know I was taking the phone, it wasn't going to be used in that manner and that son could call him right before bed to say good night.
H wasn't happy with that - Tough.
So H emails me today wanting to know if I received an email from his lawyer (I did and I ignored it), I didn't reply...2 Hours later he emails me at work...I sent him a text telling him not to email personnal business at my place of work, it was unacceptable...
He got upset, wanted to know why I haven't signed the papers - AS IF!
So, the old me came out and it turned into a knock-down drag out...Him calling me names, me biting my tongue, him with his threats, me calling OW ugly names...Him saying he wouldn't come see little man if I didn't sign, me accusing him of brain-washing our oldest who BTW hasn't spoken to me in over a month....
He actually uttered the following - Greed is a sin, you can't be a Pastor if you try to take anything from me in the D.
He needs the D to work on changes within him, he needs the D so he can become more involved with his Church and not have "this" hanging over his head...
He has been forgiven, to which I did respond with, forgiveness starts with repenting, repenting isn't asking for forgiveness and then going home and banging your mistress.
He asked for a sign, didn't get it so God wants him to D me...
Back and forth, nothing being accomplished...
OW is making waves about the fact that we are still married so once again he has to cover his butt to appease her...
WTH is wrong with these people?
Sorry so long, I need this for my timeline.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Ok, what kind of crack was he on writing up those papers? He might was well have asked for a crown and a throne while he was at it. He sure sounds entitled about now..
Of course he is going to be mad. You aren't following his orders! Too bad, so sad.
Sometimes I have it all together and then my ex can push that button he knows is there and I lose it. Grr.
How totally pathetic and yet hilarious, he wants to get the D so he can move forward in his church? Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, sure, in a way, bc then he isn't a married man with a girlfriend. But, he will still be that guy who was with the ow while he was married...
I have gone over the forgiveness thing with my (ex)H, too. He thinks that just being a good dad will make everything okay for him. And he has pulled the "I'm sorry" card...I told him that "sorry" without actions (repentance) means nothing.
Ugh. Sorry this all sucks. How are you doing now? What does your L suggest be your next move??
but thank you for this...I needed to hear it bcuz this is coming my way too.