There's nothing wrong with having boundaries. Sorry.
There is when it is an excuse not to move forward, heal and grow.
Sorry.
Boundaries are tools.
To protect you.
Not to punish.
Not to control.
Not to force.
And I also believe you can sit there and look at everything and try to build a boundary to protect yourself.
At some point you have to take your crash helmut off.
I feel like boundaries can be like crying wolf.
At some point they become meaningless if they don't have purpose for you in your healing and a clear goal.
AND they MUST be enforced or you are a paper tiger.
So
choose them well. And make sure you absolutely NEED them.
I have found that there are ways to protect yourself and stand up for your dignity and honor most of the time without hiding behind a boundary.
That is my point. If you need them use them to get healthy.
Boundaries are a personal decision. Up to the individual. Often they are used as an expression of anger, punishment or control.
Sorry Faith for this crap on your thread. You gotta figure for yourself what is driving your decision.
If it's anger, punishment etc. it ain't a boundary.
Anything that has root in anger can probably have a better solution.
Don't let that define you. Move past it.
I could see where NC could seem like "Control" or "Punishment". I've always felt it was manipulative to a point, but when you really get to the point that you can't take the abuse or disrespect any more, it's actually kind of peaceful. Why would I want to keep touching the hot burner if it's only going to hurt?
I've been a paper Tiger for way too long.
I don't want to do this...I would prefer a rational peaceful WAW.
I Love my Wife even after this sh!t! I do not want to hurt her or punish her in any way. I would hate myself if I would do this to her. Firm, but respectful is how I would want to be treated.
