Hi Sandi, I wont force anything on my children except the occasional bad meal. lol.
I was keeping my children in counciling but it was costing me to much money. My wife hasnt paid her support, her share of property taxes, and i have been maintaining the status quo for my children with the house, activities and vacations without the luxury of a second income. At $85 per hour and no coverage, it costs alot for 4 kids. I have been to the school and talked with teachers and priniple about the situation, just to refresh their memories from the end of last school year. All 4 of my children are getting an hour each week with a guidance councillor and they board of ed does have a child physcologist on staff that they are trying to get my oldest to as he is on a 3 month waiting list through our family dr.
So i took some advice from here and I stopped the journal entry. I remind the kids if they want mommy to know things, let me know so i can mark them down. My wife has started to communicate with all 4 children in a similar manner. She has 8 books, 2 for each child. one book is for the kids to write in and the other for mommy to write in. Its a great tool just to get my kids to read a write, but man its hard when my 6 year old asks me to help write a letter to mommy. I dont think my wife realizes just how much of a sense of loss this might create for her. She was a great mom before all this. This communication todate has been very much filled with I love you, i miss you, wish you were home with me and lots of xoxoxoxoxo.
I guess i see this as a positive note, in that this might break her out of the fog and make her say what the f*@k am I doing and seek some help for herself to solve her issues. Ultimately I would like to work on this marriage, but I havent yet been able to bust the affair.
I know that she had a brief argument with her mother today over our thanksgiving. Her entire family, even the 1 cousin she still talks to (who left her husband at the same time but has returned home) will be here as well. She has the kids that weekend and her mom told her to have the children home be 6 for turkey dinner and family time. My wife i guess got pretty emotional that she wasnt invited. but my mother in law is just as angry at her as i am, and until she accepts responsibility for her actions, she isnt welcome in my home. My mil respects that boundary, even walks to the road to talk to her daughter.
I guess we never thought she would be gone so long, to see her kids for 8 hours aweek after they were such a key component of her life.
Well about me for a minute. I lost another 10lbs this last week. For a total of 62lbs since april. I feel great, I look great and the kids appreciate that i am off that dam couch and active with them. My strict routine is paying off hugh. 5 30 in the morning is an aweful time to start my day, but 62lbs says it all. I weigh less now then I did in Highschool. My house is clean, the kids do their chores without reminders and we have a good time together. They are all reading every night. The goal is to get my 2 step children off of their ISP and back into mainstream classes. So i am really focusing on them for the first time in 10 years and they are thrieving on it. So now i just need to get past this need for my wife and I will be great.
One day at a time, still NC of any kind. Day 4 (this go around)
