Ominus Bonus

[steady]

Communication between my W and I has been sparse. I like it that way.

At 6:24 my phone rings. It's Kathy's cell. My ringtone is Walk Away by the Dropkick Murphy's. Go to youtube and listen to it. It's my anthem.

It's my S. He asks me to come over and get him. Then he says he wants me to come there and help him with his homework. I asked what was wrong. He said, "Mommy isn't helping me with my homework. She's giving me really long sentences to write." I asked if he asked her to make the sentences smaller. He told me he did.

Then he starts saying she won't even let him do his homework now and he's going to get in trouble at school tomorrow. I explained to him I was at work and I couldn't come by but he should just do the sentences. I told him in the time he is using complaining and calling me he could have had his homework done.

My D got on the phone and told me to come home. lol In a very authoritative tone. It was really cute.

They hung up the phone. My W is very authoritative and uses the carrot/stick method with the kids. I have been looking at a lot of alternatives because I know that method doesn't work to grow a healthy kid. I am reading Positive Discipline and it's more in making them responsible for their actions and to feel the consequences of their decision, while helping them to solve problems and give them a say in their life.

I've been doing it for a while now and I've had good results with it. I hardly put them in any time-outs because they now reverse their behavior and take responsibility. It's actually a pretty cool thing to watch happen.

Instead of working out a compromise my W will give him a long sentence and then stick to it like glue. I like to put wiggle room in there and would then compromise between what he wants to do (a very short sentence I'm sure) and the long sentence.

It becomes a win-win. Teaches him a lot too.

At 4:53 I got a text from my W telling me a notice came in my son's folder about his school was going to be on the TV tonight. There was a crew there today filming.

[begin back story]
I'm not sure if I posted this earlier in my thread, but a notice came home the other week reminding parents of an open house that night. My W never alerted me to it. I sent a text telling her that we had agreed any time sensitive information will be immediately communicated to the other parent. Of course she came back with all these excuses, telling me it was on the wall calendar, it's on the school website, it was in the monthly flier, it's not my job to remind you, blah, blah, blah.

I merely sent a text back - I was just pointing out the fact you did not contact me regarding time sensitive information as we had agreed. I didn't say anything about you having to remind me or even if I knew about it or not. You added all the rest of that stuff in there.
[end back story]

My boundary enforcement. So today she contacted me right away. Amazing how it works when you enforce those boundaries.

At 8:03 I get a text - our D just told me they said open house is tomorrow at pre k. I went online and it says it is open house. I have not seen anything about this come home, have you?

Me - Nothing came home but I saw it on the website calendar and put it on my schedule. I was going to text u as a reminder. Obviously you don't need it now. ru going? I don't know what time it starts though. Wasn't on their website.

W - I am going to bring D. I think she wants to go. I don't think there's anything we haven't heard yet or don't already know from S having gone there. I plan to call the school tomorrow for details.

Me - Ok. I will not be going then.

Just capturing it for journal purposes.