CW - Thank you - I'm noticing that H is now able to see some of the damage he's done....not that it makes any difference at this stage....he is still "in love" with OW...
Cyrena - I'm sorry I just realized that I didn't thank you or reply to your recent post. Your post is very insightful, thank you so much.
Quote:
...you just keep getting smashed up against their Fog. I've seen it described as a sort of self-brainwashing, where they tell themselves enough rationalizations about their actions and thoughts, that they actually come to believe it. For a second here or there you might be able to penetrate the fog--but their minds will hastily pull back their protective coating of brainwashed "truths" until they are finally able to start dealing with reality.
This is very descriptive of how it is....
Last edited by Mila; 09/19/1001:59 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I guess I should mention that it was our 33rd wedding anniversary....of course no word from H....I wonder if he remembered it. Surprisingly I wasn't upset or nostalgic, just remembered and went on with my day.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I think that I make him feel guilty and bad about himself just by existing....
I think I make my H feel this way too.
I think that if you are able to get out of the business with your H, things will be easier for you.
Hope you are doing ok today!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Twink - still hard to comprehend for me how could it be, from 32 years of special anniversary celebrations and declarations of love for each other to.....nothing....
Kissak - I'm really thinking of you sweetie....hoping that it will all work out for the two of you.....
Yes you are right, it would be so much easier not to be in business with him. Many reasons why I wanted to stay...First of all it was paying the bills and I also thought that staying in contact with H would be better for DBing...and I still feel loyalty to him....don't want to abandon him...even though he abandoned me. And I would hate for the business to die...it's my baby too...gave us good living for 20 years....and MLC may kill it....very sad
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
My friend reminded me yesterday that "this too shall pass".
Hope you have a great day!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I can't imagine how difficult your anniversary and your continued business stresses must be for you. I have been following your thread and trying to think of something constructive to say,.......... but right now all I can think of is to tell you from my heart how very sorry I am that you find yourself in this situation. I wish that I was there to give you a hug.
Thank you kissak, CW & GAG...thank you for your encouragement, hugs and just for being here with me.
The stress of the business is starting to be unbearable. Today I had a long meeting with H....about money. I secured a line of credit against the house. My proposal to him was to pay off all of our personal & guaranteed business debt and remove myself from all credit cards and lines of credit. I told him that I will only pay the debts if I have a guarantee that I won't be liable for any new debt.
H basically told me that I'm replaceable in business and if I don't believe in the business and that it will get better and don't want to be liable for more debt, then I should go and find a job. He will not even consider shutting it down because he is sure that the business will recover. I asked him how he plans to function until then. He said that he will borrow more money if he needs too. So I'm going to pay all of the debt off from our house equity and he wants to start racking it up again.
I said that we can't continue living on credit hoping that business will recover. And that maybe I should talk to a lawyer. I also said that if we use the line of credit to pay everything off then we should do the house transfer...he promised me that D & I can have the house. He said it many times over the months...said that I can trust him about that. Well today for the first time when I mentioned it, he said not if you are planning to sue me...his reaction to me mentioning a lawyer.
So here we go, this is getting worse and worse. I guess I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this...but it looks like we will go all the way. I'm starting to put my resume together....Didn't do one in more then 20 years. And my employment reference?...MLC H that is sleeping with an OW....just great.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
