Not sure what to do

[Young at Heart]

You might want to read about the steps involved in grieving (one model has five stages) and it might help you move past your marriage to your wife.

Ultimately when you reach acceptance, you might want to try to not think of her as evil, but misguided. If you can, then you will have really reached acceptance.

When I was unsure if my marriage would survive or not, I too came to the conclusion that there were lots of women who had many good qualities that would be thrilled to provide me with the love and touching and emotional support I needed. I realized that I deserved better and I was going to make sure that I found someone who would love me in a way that was not emotionally damaging. That is a worthy life goal.

From what I have read, you too have come to that conclusion.

I would urge you to now forgive your wife and let go of any remaining anger, no mater how justified it is in your mind. Anger and getting over it, is one of the steps of grieving the loss of something or someone important to you.

As you get a life and improve your life, you don't need to dwell on the bad things in the past, unless it is as a cathartic rant to make you feel better.

I really want you to understand that I am not saying you are evil or wrong to be upset with the way you have been treated. I am saying that to move on to where you need to be to gain happiness, you may need to grieve the loss of love from and marriage to your wife and reach a state of acceptance.

I seriously hope that you find happiness.