John - Just remember you are dealing with a very, immature person who has been acting this way for most of her life I'm guessing. You can't expect her to CHANGE over night just like we haven't expected YOU to. Several months on the other hand is a different story.
The KEY is CONSISTENCY and PATIENCE. Show her TOUGH LOVE CONSISTENTLY and YOU might see some progress.
I forgot to add that at lunch today I told her what Lotus told me to do which was the right thing to do concerning me not saying ILY. Let her know that love is a decision, and I didn't feel she was being very loving as of late. And that was unattractive. She tried to turn that on me saying "How do you expect me to be all loving and show you love when you keep blah blah blah."
I just said I didn't expect her to. That it was her decision to act the way she does, and I could live with it either way. Right now, that decision was unattractive. I told her my decision to love was based on looking past a person's faults and loving that person inside, and that's what I want from someone in return in my life as a W.
I went back to work.
She just called me at work - which she never does. I couldn't see the # so I picked up. It was her, she was on her way to her class tonight to learn how to wipe asses (literally) as an nurse's assistant.
It was weird as crap. Conversation goes like this
M: hello? W: Hey, how are you? M: Oh, hey, I'm good. W: I just wanted to call to say hi. M: Oh, well that's nice of you. Why so? W: I just wanted to make some time for you. I wanted to say hi. M: Well, hi then. Do you want to talk or something? W: If you're not busy. M: OK, so what's going on? W: Nothing really, just driving to my class, blah blah blah, my day, blah blah. M: Sounds busy. W: I can't ever stop, I've been going non-stop all day, I'm so tired. M: It sure sounds busy. I'm pretty busy myself right now though. W: How is work? M: Good. W: Well, I just wanted to call and say hi and make some time for you. M: Thanks. Anything else really going on? W: My class runs till 9:30pm tonight. What if I stopped over after? M: Maybe. But I'm pretty busy tonight. Plus, I want to relax tonight and you're not very relaxing lately. If I had time and you came over there would be no R talk. W: That sounds nice. I'll call you after my class and see either way. M: Sounds fine.
Prepare to be TAGGED, John. I can see it a mile away. She is scared I'm not going to LOVE her anymore. Calling me to say hi? WTF, she's trying to pull me under her ropes again to make me a puppet.
Declining that offer tonight.
I've got more important sh!t to do.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Since you know what's she up to.....I hope you will.
If you have an idea of what time she would be by the house, why don't you find somewhere else to be? None of her business what you've been doing or where you've been, but expect her to ask.
Don't play her games.
I probably stand in the minority here, but I think it's a waste of time, and frankly it sounds kind of weak coming from a man....to explain how you look beyond her faults to love her. I know what you were saying, but she is not at the place to appreciate or respect it. As a WAW, I think I can tell you that she won't be attracted to that kind of talk and besides, it's almost like giving her permission for bad behavior. Why not tell her that you are ready for a woman who knows how a M woman is suppose to act and who knows how to love her H? That would register a lot more than that stuff you told her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
How do you think I'm gonna get along without you when you're gone? You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own Are you happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat (Look out)
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man and bring him to the ground You can beat him, you can cheat him You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you I'm standing on my own two feet Out of the doorway the bullets rip, repeating the sound of the beat. Oh yeeeah
I think we in the peanut gallery should make a wager, but on what? There are so many good angles on this sitch. I'm thinking about copying this thread and selling it as a reality tv...Jersey Shores has nothin on this!!!!
