Mr Bond, I totally agree that the MLCers need to learn, in the end, that they can control only their own actions.
When children are abused, the emotional, fight-or-flight part of their brains shuts down, and if they are too small to fight, they learn to "play dead" or give up control. Years later, when their brains slip into depression, they misfire when giving feedback on where the threats of control are coming from.
When my H came out of his MLC, he accepted that his mother had unfairly beaten him, and that I had not tried to control him. He was able to take personal responsibility for his EA, etc, because he was had come out from his depression and had matured. HOWEVER, as long as he was in "the tunnel" he was so confused and fogged out that no matter what anyone said to him, he could not see the truth. He literally could not see anything except from his own distorted reality. That's why I'm so surprised that you told your wife you weren't controlling her, and she immediately believed you.
