Best suited here now

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Not responding is good, not while your response will be emotional.

You don't want to be a doormat, understood; there is a fine line between not being a doormat and being an as$hole though...actually it is not that fine of a line.

You could view this as an opportunity for her to see you and interact in a good way.

Or you could view this as an opportunity to punish the harlot for her sins.

[FaithnAK]

Not responding is good, not while your response will be emotional.

You don't want to be a doormat, understood; there is a fine line between not being a doormat and being an as$hole though...actually it is not that fine of a line.

You could view this as an opportunity for her to see you and interact in a good way.

Or you could view this as an opportunity to punish the harlot for her sins.

I like the last option! LOL

She just spent the weekend with OM(More than likely), pulled her deposit, keeps lying....

NO CONTACT is best for me, I don't want her within a 100 feet of my dogs or the house because God knows what she's capable of pulling right now. No trust = No way. She's lost her opportunity of her and I communicating until she sends a signal that she's behaving rational. It's all about protecting me now.

My only thoughts on this is if she trying to get me to react or if she really thinks it would be ok to see them. At this point I'm not responding in WRITING to anything regarding Dogs or Home. She can talk to a 3rd party, soon to be a Lawyer. I can't deal with her anymore.

I feel Angry, but if I'm going to let go, I need to cut her off from dealing with me at all. Not how I wanted it, but that's the cards she dealt me.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

You feel angry?

No shitt? Couldn't tell.

Not how I wanted it, but that's the cards she dealt me.

Martyr.


If that isn't how you want it, then get your balls out the jar and ACT not react to her kicking you in the emotional jimmy.

Feels like your guts got ripped out and your less of a man.

Bet you even though REALLY dark stupid thoughts.


Cowboy up.

7 Years ago you got married, prior to that somewhere in the 11 years before that you fell in love with this woman.

So about 8 years at the least, you have loved this woman, and it took...4 months for all that to go away?



You realize it is going to even be easier for you to walk away from someone in the future...for much much less.


Some people say that their marriages are even stronger for having survived an affair.


I am not saying do not protect yourself financially. Definately do that.

I'm saying maybe man up a bit. Life ain't fair and it sucks. Do you have the right to be a vindictive?

Yup!

But who the hell would want to come back to a vindictive asshat?

You are what you do when it matters most. - John Stakely

[Drew]

Ladies and Gentlemen: Jack - is back.

[FaithnAK]

I am angry. I'm going to own those feelings, they are mine.

I still love her! No question.

Man up? How am I being vindictive? No contact? Am I wrong in this approach? Am I missing something?

I'm protecting me now, she's got to figure out her path and how she wants to proceed WITHOUT me or her OLD life.

She IS NOT allowed in the House, She is NOT allowed to see the Dogs, She can NOT be trusted at all. That is a boundary...Not me being a prick.

[TimeHeals]

So about 8 years at the least, you have loved this woman, and it took...4 months for all that to go away?

I could strap a mouth guard onto him to keep him from biting off his tongue, strap some electrodes to the sides of his forehead, apply current repeatedly, and achieve that in under 10 minutes

I'm not sure what time has to do with it.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I'm not sure what time has to do with it

TimeHeals

Ironic then.

She IS NOT allowed in the House, She is NOT allowed to see the Dogs, She can NOT be trusted at all. That is a boundary

Not really a boundary.


More you being all hurt.

[MrBond]

I agree. Those aren't boundaries. You are punishing her and treating her like a child. What does the breach in trust that she did to you have to do with trusting her with the dogs?

Boundaries are lines of bad behavior that you will not tolerate. You're just being vindictive. It's understandable. It's just not going to help your sitch much.

[TimeHeals]

Ironic then.

Not really. My id is more about time perspective than intervals.

Read "The Time Paradox". Of course, changes take time Just to confuse matters

[TimeHeals]

I agree. Those aren't boundaries. You are punishing her and treating her like a child.

If she's having an affair, and his boundary is "I will not share my life with a wife who is cheating on me" (boundary), how is that much different?

Tomaytoe, tomawtoe. The anger kind of sucks, but it shall pass.

At least he isn't posting vindictive fantasies about forcing her to make confessional YouTube videos