Should I Tell Her to Move On???

[gutwrenching]

I think you are already doing the first thing right, not making the mistake I made the first time, and not diving back in. You are hesitant, probably scared. She needs to know that, feel that, sense that. She needs to really WANT this cause it is not easy. As crazy as it may sound, the easy route is to go back to the mess/confusion/garbage life she has been living and putting you through because at this point, that doesn't take emotional energy or commitment.

I think you are too hung up on hearing the exact reason you are wanting from her to give this a try. Her head is probably still spinning, coming in and out of the fog, probably not thinking as rationally as you are, but at least she is reaching a decision point on her own to give it shot. The exact words aren't important, what is important is a commitment and then you leading the two of you through the next phase.

Boundaries will be important. It will help show your strength and will help you not go "melty man"...like always, don't be a jerk and don't set ultimatums, but set out what you are willing to live with. When my W said she wanted me and the family back the second time, I knew she was serious but I also told her that I needed to think about it because I had already mentally and emotionally headed down the opposite path quickly and was comfortable about it. Told her I'd call her the next morning. I didn't. I waited for her to call me later that next evening and then waited for her to bring up the subject well into the conversation. Then I stated IF we were to try again, here is what I NEED as a minimum...then I laid out some boundaries. And I still didn't fully commit to piecing until we met in person and talked it out a little more, face-to-face.

So think it through carefully. Stay calm like usual. Get a commitment, set out your boundaries, and make sure you both understand there are going to be good days and bad days but committ to each other to work through the bad days.