First, on the idea of changing...I do believe that all of us have room for improvement! And I definitely believe in compromising sometimes, doing things because we know it makes our partner smile even if it isn't our favorite thing, etc etc.
The message of the entire song, though, was that he was basically saying he would change anything, do anything, be anything if it meant the woman who left him would come back. That is totally different.
It can become a snowball effect. First, your partner doesn't like the music you listen to, so you stop listening to it and listen to what she likes. Then, your partner doesn't like how you dress (this happened to my oldest sister), so you dress differently....and on and on. If you are like a dog chasing its tail trying to change and change and change for someone to think you are good enough, that is not a good place to be.
As far as the convo went, I agree it was poorly thought out. Or, I should say, not thought out at all. I wasn't trying to be manipulative or judgemental or controlling, honestly. I was actually just geniunely taken by surprise. The whole thing seems ridiculous to me. If she can't move for 10 more years bc of the stipulations of her child's custody, then what the freak is the point? I know, that is not my business. But as he was saying it (she will never move here, it can never happen), the whole thing just seemed pointless.
I guess bc in my case if I had a 'friend' who could never be a consistent part of my life--I couldn't live with them, marry them, whatever--I may decide to keep seeing them. But, why would I involve my kids? Guess it just shows how we are different. I don't intend to introduce my kids to anyone I date unless/until I get to the point where I am considering a serious, committed, marriage-leaning relationship. Until that time I will date on my own time, not the kids.
That is what I mean when I said, "How about you see her the other 50%", Ali. I didn't mean be more involved with her, but if he did that's not my problem anyway. I just meant, if she is going to be a sporadic presence in your life, no need to involve the kids. If they were shacking up or getting married of course the kids would have to get used to her. But since they aren't, it just seems unnecessary.
Oh well, I am tired of talking about it. He will do what ever he will do.
Fun day at preschool this morning. We had an apple taste-test and the kids got to vote their favorite: red, green, or yellow. Tomorrow we paint/print with apples.
It's school picture day and the kids look adorable, of course. Nathan just lost his second tooth on Saturday night so now he has two missing teeth. Sydney came in to my room when she got here on the bus from daycare. She comes for p.m. preschool. I took her from her room for five minutes and changed her. Didn't want her getting her lunch on her picture sweater! Then I put a little lip gloss on her which totally made her day...tonight she has her first dance lesson ever...
Sydney came in to my room when she got here on the bus from daycare. She comes for p.m. preschool. I took her from her room for five minutes and changed her. Didn't want her getting her lunch on her picture sweater! 
Then I put a little lip gloss on her which totally made her day...tonight she has her first dance lesson ever...