Cadet's post is on JenniferA's thread. The seventh one down. You can review it there if you need any of the links.
From what you just posted he must carry through the divorce. He will try to make it your fault, and want you to carry it out. It does sound like the OW is pushing him. He must choose between her and you. Don't help him with the dirty work. The sooner he knows that you are not the cause of his unhappiness, the better chance he will start to look within.
