This was all so strange in that this was the first time I have seen any hesitation in her and the discussion was regarding her moving out. She is still going and that was the whole conversation but something was odd about her body language.
Letting go DOES throw the WAS for a loop. Almost every time. They are expecting you to totally disagree to them wanting out and when you don't bite, it makes them go, What? It's kind of funny in a way.
You sound well (as far as "accepting" goes). What are you doing in the interim as far as GAL?
Letting go DOES throw the WAS for a loop. Almost every time. They are expecting you to totally disagree to them wanting out and when you don't bite, it makes them go, What? It's kind of funny in a way.
You sound well (as far as "accepting" goes). What are you doing in the interim as far as GAL?
Have you seen a L?
We are going to just have the separation notarized as details should not be too difficult.
Regarding a GAL, i am having a great time outside of this sitch. I never really altered my lifestyle aside and aside from a couple of moments on my own have always been upbeat. The fact that she walked this summer actually freed up some more time for me to pursue hobbies and sports and go camping with friends. the only thing missing is a bit of female company but i think i just want to be on my own for a bit in that regard.
All our mutual friends have commented that I seem to be doing great and have also said that she has commented on it and seemed pi$$ed off that i didn't crawl up and cry somewhere. I have had my moments a couple of times where i have been bummed out but not too much. Thats not too say this hasn't left some scars but thats to be expected and if it didn't then I would be as complicit as her in ending the M.
During the talk she asked me about the upcoming vacation with some friends that we had prepaid for when we were together. i just told her that I was still going and we were all looking forward to it. When she questioned me more I just said it does not concern her and directed her back to the finances.
She also hinted a few times about the area she was moving too and I felt she was inviting me to question her further but i just ignored it.
All our mutual friends have commented that I seem to be doing great and have also said that she has commented on it and seemed pi$$ed off that i didn't crawl up and cry somewhere.
During the talk she asked me about the upcoming vacation with some friends that we had prepaid for when we were together. i just told her that I was still going and we were all looking forward to it. When she questioned me more I just said it does not concern her and directed her back to the finances.
She also hinted a few times about the area she was moving too and I felt she was inviting me to question her further but i just ignored it.
You are handling this perfectly. Good for you, Khudoo!
You are handling this perfectly. Good for you, Khudoo!
thanks Soleil, I am really trying. I so want to ask her where she is going, who she is with but thanks to this forum and the good advice I receive I dont.
I would really like her to admit she is with someone else but not asking or seeming interested gives me an upper hand and makes me feel better, in control and more empowered. I thought i needed this for closure BUT I don't.
I know she is constantly expecting me to plead with her when we discuss things and in a way she seems disappointed when I don't. She is looking for excuses to dislike me but i wont give her any real ones. i make sure every financial and logistic decision i make is sound and sometimes bounce off mutual friends to see if they agree its fair and then explain it clearly to her.
I will be glad when she moves out as then it doesn't matter as it will be out of sight.
This has been a tough and very educational experience and the ride is not over yet ( but i think my M is ). I think whats harder than losing my W is losing my best friend and that sucks.
Ok, things are getting weirder here. After much arrangement with my W i finally got her to agree to a time to meet up with the real estate guy which was tonight.
10 mins before he was due to arrive she texts me an says she cant make it and just go ahead without her. I responded that this is something we need to do together and she needs to be involved with. i emailed her back saying I canceled the apt and i am available to reschedule on about 10 different days over the next 3 weeks. Also said seeing as i was the one who arranged this meeting that she needs to arrange the next.
For someone desperate to get out she sure seems to be dropping the ball. I will send reminders until she sets up an apt. I dont see why I need to take the lead in setting this up.
She arrives home late with her S and just goes to bed withour mentioning anything.
Need advice here. Should I just drive this home or should I push her into making a concrete decision. I dont really want to sell the house but I will not show any weakness if thats what needs to be done.
For someone desperate to get out she sure seems to be dropping the ball. I will send reminders until she sets up an apt. I dont see why I need to take the lead in setting this up.
Women want men to lead. Don't give her 10 different days, give her 2 option this day or that day.
If day 1 passes without her committing then set it for day 2 and do it yourself if need be.
I had to initiate everything with my WAW. She suggested mediation in February, I was the one to push for it in August. I had the house appraised so we could move forward.
I feared losing my home, especially for the kids sake. I conquered that fear by addressing it.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Don't give her 10 different days, give her 2 option this day or that day.
I agree.
I narrowed it down to 2 days and finally got her to commit to one. Also told her that we will finalize the separation agreement the same day.
She has got a new place and is moving out next week. She is so angry and distant and I have to corner her to get her to discuss the logistics of the move and the separation. I tried to do it via email but she doesn't respond and i need info on moving dates and to get agreement on what she can take with her.
I am afraid if I don't get this she will move without telling me and take whatever she wants. Even though she has just been cold and angry for months I think moving day will be tough. certain milestones just drive home whats happening.
Apparently she is just moving around the corner from where we live. Great !!!!!!!!
Still blown away by the fact that you can be so close to someone one day and so distant the next. She would have a good career in acting if she wanted it.
Oh well, I have a good weekend planned away from here and it starts this afternoon.
Moving day will be tough but consider it another step in the process. That's grea tyou locked down a day. I think it's a good idea you guys are drawing up a sep. agreement before she leaves.
And yes, the WAS' could certainly get some Oscar nominations
